Are You Good Enough to Write a Book?
By Deb
GOOD ENOUGH
In the past, when I heard the phrase, “That’s good enough,” I was really bothered. It seemed to me that saying this was settling for less than the best. When I’ve run out of time on a project, I’ve had to resort to that, resigning myself to the fact that I couldn’t get all the details right in time.
Leaving loose ends bothers me. Knowing I didn’t get everything just quite right bothers me.
Yet, I now see this dissatisfaction for what it is. Perfectionism. And I’ve recently discovered that there is a universe of difference between trying to make things perfect and striving for excellence. One is healthy. The other is not.
Perfection is an illusion. Even in nature perfection does not exist. And yet we marvel at the beauty we see there. We don’t say to the butterfly, your right wing is 2 mm longer than the left. We look at the whole wing, the whole butterfly and appreciate it.
Dr. Brené Brown, researcher and author extraordinaire, has traced the roots of perfectionism to a sense of unworthiness. Our unspoken belief is that if we can just do things perfectly, then we will earn our way to being worthy of people’s love and acceptance. But since perfection is impossible to achieve, then love and acceptance based on our achieving perfection is also impossible. Do you see how this feeds into a cycle? If you haven’t heard about any of Dr. Brown’s TED talks on YouTube or seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday morning show, at the very least watch this one: Brené Brown TEDx Houston.
“I want to be worthy of love and acceptance, so I need to be a perfect mother. A perfect daughter. A perfect teacher. A perfect wife. A perfect…whatever.”
“I want to be worthy of love and acceptance, so I need to be thin and beautiful, like the super models. Like the women on billboards, in magazines, in Hollywood.
“In order to be accepted by a publishing company, I have to write a perfect book.”
And what do they tell all aspiring writers? You will be rejected. Accept it and move on. But what this means is, going into the game we’re set up for failure, for rejection, for unworthiness unless we can find our way to believing that we are worthy.
So here’s what I’ve learned:
That being good enough, just as I am, is not settling for something less than my best.
That who and what I am IS enough. No concealer, no airbrush makeup, no fancy hair blowing in the breeze or artfully arranged behind my head on a bed pillow.
That if I, myself, don’t think I’m enough, no one else will. But if I do think I’m enough, others will, too.
To help writers along with our emotional struggle, my friend Kristen Eckstein, the Ultimate Book Coach, created this infographic. It’s actually going to be made into bookmarks for her clients and for giving out to audiences where she speaks. But she’s given me permission to share this with you. Post it on your own blog, then link back to it from Twitter and Facebook. But if you share it, you must include her URL at the bottom. That’s all the thanks she needs.
Know this: You. Are. Enough.
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Psychology of Writing–Using Emotions to Get to Where You Want to Be
By Deb
In other posts I’ve written about the late Jim Rohn, incomparable motivational speaker and thought leader, and the impact he had on my life, even though I discovered Continue reading this post »
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NaNoWriMo — Join 1000s of Would-be Novelists Around the Globe
By Deb
National Novel Writing Month, aka NaNoWriMo, begins November 1st each year.
(If you’re reading this after November 30, never fear. You can participate
during the summer. See Camp NaNoWriMo below.)
The idea is to write 50,000 words during the month of November, posting your progress on the website, and receiving encouragement from others, including established authors who provide their own unique spin on this business we call writing.
At NaNoWriMo you can: Continue reading this post »
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Story Ideas — Where 10 Published Authors Got Their Inspiration — You Can, Too
By Deb
If you’re struggling to come up with a story idea, you might want to get busy doing something else. Ten authors were in the midst of, basically, LIFE when inspiration hit.
L. Frank Baum was telling a story to his sons when the land of Oz captured his imagination. From there he mapped out the Yellow Brick Road, brick-by-brick.
As Tolstoy rested after dinner (I wonder who was doing the dishes while he was lounging on the sofa?), he envisioned an elbow. Then the rest of person attached to it became a woman in a ballgown who haunted him until he could stand it no longer and had to write Anna Karenina’s story.
Washington Irving was in the throes of writer’s block when his cousin’s stories of their youthful Hudson Highlands exploits super-charged his creativity. Rip Van Winkle was the result the following morning.
Gabriel García Marquéz was driving to Acapulco on a family vacation when the opening line from what became One Hundred Years of Solitude caused him to do a U-turn, abandon the vacation and head home to write his novel. I can’t imagine his family was too happy with him.
At 16, C.S. Lewis daydreamed Mr. Tumnus with his arms full of parcels, decades before the faun even had a name or a world to live in. It was 24 years later, actually, before Lewis finally created and populated Aslan’s realm, and introduced the Pevensies to the world of War Drobe in Spare Oom.
E.B. White was walking through an orchard, heading for a pigpen when he figured out who was the most unlikely hero to save a pig from slaughter. The intricate cobweb which inspired him turned out to be one he came across in his own house. I wonder if his spider spelled out words in her design, too?
Robert Louis Stevenson was painting while being bored on vacation in Scotland. Suddenly the crew of a pirate ship appeared, hunting for treasure and pillaging their way across the canvas. For him, it was simply a matter of exchanging the paintbrush for a quill to put the bloody pirates’ exploits into words.
Professor J.R.R. Tolkien was grading a stack of exam papers until a blank page presented itself mid-stack. This random thought popped into his head: “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.” From there, he had to answer two questions: “What is a hobbit?” and “Why does he live underground.” From that serendipitous beginning, he eventually invented the Elven language and populated Middle Earth with a colorful and memorable cast of characters and races.
George Orwell was people-watching when a young boy maneuvered a large horse on a narrow path. In his mind, “What if?” kicked in, and he wondered what would happen if animals suddenly realized their true strength. From there he conceived of a world where animals ruled and were no less ruthless and exploitative than humans.
Finally, Jules Verne was reading a newspaper in Paris when an ad ignited his imagination. The travel agency was trying to entice ordinary people — as ordinary as anyone can be who could afford it — to set off on an adventure around the world in 80 days. One wonders about the actual itinerary from the travel agency.
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Novel Writing: A Light-Hearted Look
By Deb
Novel writing. It’s challenging, fraught with pitfalls and not for the faint of heart. Laughter is sometimes the best way to cope with such challenges. Here’s a video that pokes fun at novel writing and naive aspiring writers. I giggled, laughed out loud and rolled my eyes in recognition.
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